____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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