Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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