best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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