your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
