i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
