I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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