Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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