And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
