using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
