no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
