Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
