No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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