What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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