I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
