Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
