she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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