windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
