My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
