He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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