just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.