You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
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It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
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I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?