Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .

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  (416): i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high . http://tfl.nu/d43n
  Replies (17) Good night (2924) Bad night (544)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.

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  (708): I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event. http://tfl.nu/286m
  Replies (6) Good night (3585) Bad night (514)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car

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  (313): The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car http://tfl.nu/lq42
  Replies (40) Good night (4885) Bad night (1218)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?

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  (405): also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format? http://tfl.nu/009x
  Replies (27) Good night (6342) Bad night (1385)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.

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  (636): you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me. http://tfl.nu/k5hc
  Replies (4) Good night (6512) Bad night (859)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.

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  (303): Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever. http://tfl.nu/ckan
  Replies (11) Good night (1428) Bad night (6473)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.

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  (203): doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student. http://tfl.nu/a880
  Replies (55) Good night (1945) Bad night (7647)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.

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  (207): You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee. http://tfl.nu/mtea
  Replies (46) Good night (2484) Bad night (4688)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack

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  (203): you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack http://tfl.nu/hvnz
  Replies (6) Good night (3164) Bad night (1012)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka

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  (919): I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka http://tfl.nu/i4zm
  Replies (7) Good night (8007) Bad night (1169)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse

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  (252): The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse http://tfl.nu/x8q4
  Replies (9) Good night (796) Bad night (1781)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,

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  (403): Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20, http://tfl.nu/h2dw
  Replies (9) Good night (1610) Bad night (525)
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  (347): View more from New York

  you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.

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  (347): you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking. http://tfl.nu/78bt
  Replies (6) Good night (451) Bad night (1804)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch

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  (425): The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch http://tfl.nu/197l
  Replies (7) Good night (435) Bad night (222)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.

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  (601): My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service. (1-601): Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar. http://tfl.nu/yh0y
  Replies (1) Good night (907) Bad night (219)

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