remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law