video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?