you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
