he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
