hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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