i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
