I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
