is your mom at the bar?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
