I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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