im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
