is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
