whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
