he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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