dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
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