so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
