it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
