we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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