so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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