i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
