I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm like, not good at living.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
