garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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