You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
