C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
