Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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