how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize