R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
