i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
