she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
