And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
