Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
