I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
