Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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