Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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