I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
