I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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