I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Is it because I queefed?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
