I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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