Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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