I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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