I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
