Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
