Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
