Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
